Category Archives: Psychology

life is rough — till the end

Q: Salam brother Imaam,

I was too sinful. What sins I did I think I don’t have to mention it, as its the matter between me and Allah (SWT).
But I have asked forgiveness from him, and I know he forgive you if you ask it from your heart, and not to do all those sins.
Now I am scared to attempt any sin. I try to keep m Continue reading

if you not shy to be gay, i need not be shy to be gay (happy) with my choices too!

Q: I am studying to work in a profession with disadvantaged populations where I may have to work with homosexual individuals. I realize Islam does not condone homosexuality, and I’m having trouble reconciling religion and the ethics outlined in by my profession. In my profession I am working with individuals who may have participated in haram acts (such as child abuse, sexually inappropriate behavior, drug abuse, etc.), but in their cases I am working to improve their behavior, where in the case of homosexual individuals, my profession has outlined it as ethically irresponsible for me to discourage their lifestyle, and may even require me to encourage it. Continue reading

is it better to be a hypocrite

Q: When it comes to the religion, is it better to be a hypocrite or retain your knowledge.
For example i have attained knowledge of the Deen. And for some reason i don’t apply it or sometimes i have difficulties performing them. In that case should i preach my knowledge, because it might be an advice or easier on another individual to perform it. Or should i keep my knowledge to my self.

Time: Sunday December 12, 2010 at 7:23 pm Continue reading

do not let SHAYTAN pull you down from your seat of faith

Q: I have committed so much sin in my life. there is no hope for me. I get away from one sin to another. And after a while i see myself back in that same sin. I feel like my heart became dark that the quran doesn’t have effect on it. I listened to lectures and fail to follow what it said. When i go to islamic events such as conference, I feel guilty of all my sins, and just want to repent. After a while I see myself in that same spot again. when I was young i was really good muslim but now i feel like there is no place for me in this world. I started to hate myself, and lost connection with my family. I tried to find a good companion, but couldnt find one. My only good source for me to learn about islam is thru youtube. I dont know where to start from, i fee like I am lost n no hope for me. I disobed my Creator so many times, and he always gives me a chance, but now i feel like he give up on me because I failed n ruined my life.

Time: Wednesday July 14, 2010 at 12:11 am Continue reading

can i call you a ***


Assalaamu’Alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuhu,
Hope this reaches you well..Can a Muslim call another Muslim a pig? Continue reading

suicide — major no no

Salamu Alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakhtu

Hope your well,I have a question..Why is suicide haram?

Time: Sunday February 14, 2010 at 9:42 pm
Continue reading

‘watching pornography’

Q1.What are the consequences of watching pornography and Ejaculating?

Time: Sunday November 29, 2009 at 1:06 am


  • Viewing pornography reduces respect for men/woman/children. Makes you take human life for granted. Reduces your sensitivity towards healthy relationships. Reduces appreciation and respect of your body and the body of others. Pornography helps you lose your modesty. Pornographic viewers have to take part in filth to attain necessary gratification.
  • Pornography is a ‘movie’ production, its allurement is due to a false depiction of reality. The men and woman have cosmetics to enhance their image, at times causing naïve persons to want their wives/husbands to look and act the very same way. (Viewers don’t always say it, their behavior begins to demand it!) When viewers watch such filth and notice that they as well as their partners fail to perform ‘as seen on TV,’ it is not unusual for attraction, satisfaction,  etc. to gradually diminish. Continue reading
  • Allah Created Adam(AS) and Eve (AS), not Adam(AS) and Steve

    Assalam Alaykum,
    1) i was wondering if its okay to talk to a gay person? 2) since we go to school with them, sometimes they professor just replace us as study partners. 3) is it okay to talk,be friends with them or study with them?

    Time: Wednesday October 21, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

    1) It is not encouraged to talk to any person that deviates from the truth and flaunts that negativity upon others. To communicate with any deviant person should be with the intent to convey the message of morality and ethics to them. To be polite whilst attempting to accomplish halaal functions would be permissible when there is no alternative. To indulge in futile talk would contradict Quranic injunctions

    2) Talk to them to the extent that is necessary. If you talk about gay behavior, only talk to that extent that would allow you to communicate the message of a healthy lifestyle to them. For this is also a form of conveying our religion to them. To convey a message ignorantly hurts Islam. Do not go into unwanted dialogue with people that deviate and live a lifestyle that is viewed as religiously unnatural

    3) To voluntarily do so once they have refused to reform adverse habits while an alternative better choice exists would be to help in this sin. A believer does not do that

    Allah Certainly Knows Best.

    For Adults Only: Get out of your cultural rut and live your life, not the life of others!

    I was raised to believe that a persons deen/iman was more important then any thing else and I have stuck by that belief my parents have instilled in me. Recently I was proposed to and alhamdulillah Allah has answered my prayers because I truly feel lucky to have this person. Sadly we won’t be getting married for sometime and the reason for that is he doesn’t come from money (i.e. wealthy parents) but I do and because of that my mother expects him to throw a lavish wedding. Every time I try to talk to her about it she asks “is he marrying you or are you marrying him” the way she talks it’s as if he showed up at our door step pretending to be someone else but he was honest with her and told her he didn’t have much but would work hard. I as his witness know that he’s worked his behind off but with his current job what he’s making comes out to nothing after all his bills are paid, he’s going to school fulltime and so he cant work as much.

    I want to marry him and I want to help pay for the wedding because according to my mother “if there is no wedding there is no marriage” but at the same time she wont let me help him because of the pressure my mother is putting on him he wants to take out a loan, I told her this and she said it was fine, how could it possibly be fine for us to enter into a marriage with a debt that big? I have the money its not as though I’m steeling from her but she still won’t allow me. Can she do that? And what advise do you have when it comes to talking to my mother because it bothers me that she all of a sudden is changing her mind about what matters, Btw you’ll see that I haven’t mentioned my father I’m not sure if you’ve heard the line but it goes “the man is the head of the house hold but the woman is the neck and she chooses where that head turns” unfortunately in my case this applies. Forgive me for running on. Jazakallahu khair.


    Warning* (We have written this response for adults. The message is harsh. Little boys and girls can kindly skip it. Individuals that wish to live in the past, kindly skip. Those who love culture more then religion may also skip. Unless, of course, your culture and religion are one, then read on!)

    The best nikah is a nikah that has simplicity and least amount of expense attributed towards it. (Paraphrased from miskaat shreef. Kitab un nikah.) Continue reading

    i am not mad, but i get mad…

    Assalamu Alaykum,

    What is the best way to control our temper? And how can we teach ourselves to become silent? (hopeful&calm)

    Time: Thursday September 3, 2009


    وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

    حدثنا ‏ ‏ابن السرح ‏ ‏حدثنا ‏ ‏ابن وهب ‏ ‏عن ‏ ‏سعيد يعني ابن أبي أيوب ‏ ‏عن ‏ ‏أبي مرحوم ‏ ‏عن ‏ ‏سهل بن معاذ ‏ ‏عن ‏ ‏أبيه أن رسول الله ‏ ‏صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ ‏قال ‏ ‏من كظم غيظا وهو قادر على أن ينفذه دعاه الله عز وجل على رءوس الخلائق يوم القيامة حتى يخيره الله من الحور العين ما شاء ‏

    Anger in Islam is not prohibited. There is a place and time for it. We are not animals in that, people can do to us as they chose and we must take all the abuse they send our way. By contrast, to get angry for every petty matter is also not part of our religion.

    First we must know the definition of anger

    Anger for the average person results from a deluded mindset. This negative or alerted state causes  anger to be displaced upon another entity (human, etc.) that the aggressor feels unattractive or negative towards. Thus at times exaggerating a given occurrence. In the process, the anger functions to 1) sooth an emotion and 2) functions as a convincing variable to our deluded mindset that we are correct in a given act of aggression.

    Are you a coward in your anger?

    Scholars have said it well: if a person that you have viewed as more superior to yourself (employer, etc.) hurts you in some manner and yet you remain calm, versus anger towards relational partner or any other person you view as more vulnerable or lower to yourself, then chances are you are not justified in your display of anger. For in one case you have fear, and this fear keeps you calm, yet when you are in a dominant position, you exploit the weak with a tempter tantrum! Likewise, our Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) has stated:  strength is not to overpower a person, rather, it is the ability to be calm despite one having the power/control to do mean things.

    Everything has a cure (silence is best!)

    The cure for anger is simple: when angry, recite dorood (salutations upon Rasulullah SAW). If standing, sit; if sitting then lay down. This may not be practicable for many in all situations. Suffice to say, change the topic or become silent, take longer to respond to that which angers you.  Before you display your anger, ask yourself: 1) what would the consequences be of my given anger? 2) How do I look when I get angry? 3) Do I look nice? 4) Do others find me attractive when I get angry? 5) Am I reacting to the wishers of the devil or my Creator?  Practice this advice for a few months and we assure you profound success, insha-Allah.

    Alternatively, say  tawooz, drink water (when not fasting) make wudhu, change your posture or environment. Never be angry for more than three days at a given person. Before you get angry, always ask yourself, can I prove my anger through Quran and Hadith. If the answer remains in the negative, shelve the anger. Scholars have also added, pray for the person you are angry with, and Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) would bring love in your heart. Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) is Merciful, and loves for us to be that way too.

    Allah Certainly Knows Best.

    p.s. the fact that you asked us on how to be silent shows to us that you are aware not only you have a problem with anger, but you are also aware that silence is best response.