‘I wear Hijab, I don’t date, …’

Q: Asslamu Alykom,

I was born and raised Muslim. My parents may Allah (swt) bless them, taught me as much as they could about Islam.   I wear Hijab, I don’t date, I stay away from many other sins. However recently, I have been having trouble with my prayer.  I have not prayed in a while, and I am scared. I haven’t not been able to ask  anyone for help because I am afraid they will judge me. I try to prayer all the 5 prayer, but many times I fail. I am scared because I know that if died this moment, I would be punished greatly in the grave and in the afterlife. I am sincerely asking for HELP. I want to know what I could do to start praying again. Please don’t not judge me.  Right now as I am typing I  am crying because I don’t know what to do. I want to know what I could do to avoid shayatan controlling.

(name withheld)
Scared Muslimah

Time: Sunday October 30, 2011 at 8:39 pm

A:وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

First off, I do not judge people.  If Allah (SWT) exposed my sins to you sister, you would not ever look in my direction or care to even know of my existence. We all sin, the best of sinners are those that seek repentance (derived from hadith). For this I admire you. We are all in the same boat as it pertains to self rectification. This should be goal of every human.

First off, Allah (SWT) loves you, that is why He allows you to wear the Hijab. A special feat in our current times. When Allah (SWT) loves a person, Allah (SWT) allows for them to adorn His sunnah.

According to the Quran, salah is not just an important pillar, it prevents a person from perpetrating greater evils. Therefore, should you become continually negligent in your salah, chances are that you would involve yourself gradually in greater sins. E.g.: looking at haram, talking things that are always useless, consuming haram, deceiving people/governments, etc.

Allah (SWT) does not seek to punish anyone. Allah (SWT) is the Creator and Allah (SWT) wants the best for all. That is why He has established rules and regulations. Follow them and all your problems would gradually dissipate. Rest assured my sister, today you are not praying, it must not happen that you continue on this track; as Allah (SWT) states, evil people are to be with evil people. Should you continue on this pathway, Allah (SWT) would attract you to people like yourself; the outcome of this could be very devastating.—socially, relationally, etc

A tear shed for Allah (SWT) can extinguish miles of fire. Your tears are a good sign. Now continue your life by doing a makeup for missed prayers, pray on time and take up the challenge to be your very best.

Additionally, read this.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

0 responses to “‘I wear Hijab, I don’t date, …’

  1. Your Sister in Islam

    بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
    Assalamu Alaykum Waramatulahi my dearest sister in Islam,
    I sincerely hope that Allah(s.w.t) makes it easy on you and assist you in establishing your 5 daily prayer. Ameen. In addition to the advice of the Imam I wanted to share with you some ways that usually help me with my Salah.
    1. Make a check list for yourself for all the 5 daily prayer each day and put it in a place where you can see regularly. Put a check mark next to each one you do. At the end of the day look at your list and see if you accomplished your goal and whichever salah you were not able to pray analyze why you were not able to pray. For example, what kept you from praying so that you are aware of the particular thing (I called these Shaitan traps) and watch out for them in the future. Likewise, also take a note on what motivated you to pray a particular prayer.
    2. Try to be continually state of wudu that way when salah times comes you would be dealing with one less battle of making wudu. I still struggle with this but Alhamdillah I have gotten a lot better at it. Whenever, my wudu breaks, I right away try to make wudu again. Plus the longer you are in a state of wudu the closer you are to Allah(s.w.t). I do understand that for some females it might be a little difficult because of white discharge but you can do it inshAllah.I tend to do wudu several times because I am a female that gets white discharge throughout the day.
    3. Whatever Salah you are able to do it, right after salah thank Allah(s.w.t) for assisting you to pray that particular salah and then ask dua that he helps you with the next salah.
    4. Set Alarm for yourself for each prayer time, when the alarm goes off go the nearest place to pray and Pray! don’t think further about it because Shaitan will try to distract you to stop you from praying
    5. Try finding someone you trust and they care about you to ask them if they could be your support person. You don’t have to tell them that you are having hard time praying 5 times a day but rather you could tell them that you want to pray your prayers at the earliest time of each prayer and if they can help you. I think this would be less embarrassing because a lot of us straggle praying our prayers on time. What about your family like your parents. I think our immediate family know us so well that they are less to judge us. Maybe you can ask your sister or mother to keep you on track with salah I think it is always good that if one is having hard time doing something to find a support person that will motivate them whenever they are feeling weak.
    6. Try being around sister that pray 5 times a day so that you pray with them every time they pray.
    7. Try to limit things that will keep you away from Salah. For example, I find that when I am watching movies, tv or listening to music I find it hard to leave and go pray. So the more I limited them the easier it became for me to pray.
    8. Be more cautious of what you eat at all time.
    9. Be more cautious of your sight, hearing, tongue and heart and busy them with things that will remind you of Allah(s.w.t).
    10. When a salah time comes, and you are not motivated enough to pray, face the kiblah and Make dua to Allah(s.w.t) to assist you and keep making dua until you are motivated to pray the particular prayer
    11. Increase your Dhikr
    12. Increase your istaqfar(seeking forgiviness) and ask Allah(s.w.t) to eliminate from your life whatever is preventing you from praying.
    13. Increase your Dua, actually I would say Insist in making dua. Whenever you find it difficult to make dua, THEN make dua that Allah(s.w.t) makes it easy for you to make dua. If the shaitan distracts you with “ why would Allah(s.w.t) listen to you because you are not obeying him” then make the dua : Ya Allah(s.w.t) I am really sorry, I want to change and obey you so please assist me in becoming closer to you. Just like when you were crying writing this email, cry to Allah(s.w.t) to assist you.
    14. Listen to Quran often.
    15. It is good that you are feeling bad for not praying but don’t stop on this guilty feeling only but also Focus on that you want to change and tell yourself You Can do it. Insist on wanting to change.

    Try memorizing this dua and try saying this dua a lot especially after Salah. It is from the 14th surah/chapter of the Quran
    (٣٩) رَبِّ ٱجۡعَلۡنِى مُقِيمَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةِ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِى‌ۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلۡ دُعَآءِ (٤٠) رَبَّنَا ٱغۡفِرۡ لِى وَلِوَٲلِدَىَّ وَلِلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ يَوۡمَ يَقُومُ ٱلۡحِسَابُ (٤١)
    “O my Lord! Make me one who performs As-Salât (Iqâmat-as-Salât), and (also) from my offspring, our Lord! And accept my invocation. (14:40) “Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established.” (14:41)

    In addition, I also wanted to share with you these two ayahs. There are from the 4 surah/chapter of the Quran:
    “And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks Allâh’s Forgiveness, he will find Allâh Oft¬Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (4:110)
    “What would Allah get by punishing you, if you are grateful and believe? Allah is Appreciating, All-Knowing. “(4:147)

    May Allah(s.w.t) make it easy on you and all of us. Ameen