Category Archives: Minors

leave me alone, i got things to do

Assalaamu alaikum respected Imaam,
My brother has seemed to gotten into the habit of blogging and has been over zealous about it, constantly checking if he has any comments and thinking about new posts to make.  He seems to be even getting anti-social.  What do we do to take him off this obsession?
Jazakallah khair Imaam.

Answer: Wa-alikum-us-salam respected member of the Ummah.  Our sincere prayer is that Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) reward you for your concern relating to your brother. Your caring and compassion Insah-Allah would be of benefit to your family as well as the Ummah at large, Ameen.

The broad picture: (first things first)

Alhamdulillah, Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) has created countless of things for benefit of humanity. However, anything done in excess causes harm. Harmful for the body is over eating. Hanging out too much with friends can cause a lapse in ones studies, or hinder other more critical responsibilities. Reading too much of anything, or for that matter, praying all the time at the expense of fulfilling other obligations can harm ones health or even ones religion. Islam being a religion of balance demands balance in all matters of a muslims life.

About the ‘blogging ‘matter:

Concerning the issue you have presented to us, we first realize that there are two sides to everything. Taking the assumption that what you saying is indeed the case. We must first acknowledge that blogging in itself is not a Haram, nor a problem. So long as blogging benefit humanity in a healthy manner and topics are not against the values of ones religion or against ones national values. For example, if your brother blogs on issues that create benefit to humanity, then Insha-Allah, Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) would reward him greatly.

But naturally, this is not your concern. Your concern is the ‘zealous’ nature that has interrupted his healthy way of life. For this we are to offer steps you can utilize to understand the matter in a more superior manner whilst helping him reduce his addiction to blog postings. For starters, you must try and find out what has caused him to become this way. Shaytan is shrewd. Sometimes shaytan makes people do things to avoid other greater responsibilities, and thus traps a person to spend their energies in things like ‘blogging.’ Etc.

Although you can help him, ideally, your brother must be the one that states some of the following:

‘I do have a problem, I cannot stop thinking about new topics and issues. My behavior is affecting my relationship with those that love me. I want Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala)to guide me in making choices that are good.’

If one does not acknowledge that they have a problem, there is little you can do to help. As you may witness, lack of responsibility creates hostility and animosity between varying concerned members. This does not mean that you must ignore the issue. As Muslims, when we see wrong, or any form of excess, more so, unhealthy excesses with those we love, it becomes vital that we try and help such individuals. Help does not for us to make the matter worst. It means doing things in a manner that would remedy a poor situation..

Here are some essential questions that need to be also answered:

  • One has to find out, if and when they are not blogging, do they get a lonely feeling, depression overcomes them, they feel empty and sad. When new topics are difficult to come by, does irritability, anger and despondency set in?
  • Does the person use this newly found habit to kill time, release stress, or a privilege they are abusing?
  • Can this habit be replaced by a more balanced deed? To do a better deed, one must find a better action to take part in. Or else the person can result is doing something more worst with their time, and that would not be good either! This is where your creativity can be of an asset to your family. Continue reading

Can I Marry a Person Like Me?

Q: Can a person who committed adultery for years (zina-premarital adult relations) marry a person who have never committed zina? How about i did not know if it was haram Imaam

A. Permissibility does exist for a repented adulterer/adulteress to marry a chaste individual. Due to the disadvantage of experience and other possible promiscuities that unchaste people take part in, it would be better for an adulterer/adulteress to marry a person similar to ‘their type.’ A person should marry an individual who has committed similar acts of transgressions. The added condition should be that they both be compatible in that they want to change their lives for the better.
For a Man or woman who is zina-oriented to marry chaste (non-zina) and honorable person intentionally would contribute bringing to the forefront that sexuality can be toyed with as humanity views fit. This is far from the Islamic teachings of morality. It is most ironic that at the time of marriage people seek chaste partners, partners whose life they can have an adverse affect upon, primarily as a result of premarital promiscuity.

Shari’a does allow one to marry a woman of honor, and vice versa; when seeking compatibility, however, we think it is best you marry a ‘type’ similar to yours.

Indeed Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) is most forgiving, forgiveness does not mean forgotten, nor does it mean that you are free from the residue of taint. So we hold, marry a person similar to your interests, while both of you continue seeking forgiveness and a better spiritual life.

Allah certainly knows best.

gay as in gay? or gay as in happy?

Q. why cant Muslims have girlfriends and boyfriends? Can a Muslim person hang out with a gay man? sorry my questions are a little weird!!

A. Your questions are not ‘weird.’ Your questions are product of our current environment. If you feel your environment is ‘weird,’ then you must change your social setting, so as to create thoughts that would promote greater awareness.

A1) Muslims cannot have boyfriends and girlfriends because Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) forbids such relations. The Nobel Quran states:

وَلَا تَقۡرَبُواْ ٱلزِّنَىٰٓ‌ۖ إِنَّهُ ۥ كَانَ فَـٰحِشَةً۬ وَسَآءَ سَبِيلاً۬

And go not go near to fornication; surely it is an indecency and an evil way. 17:32

As you can note, the Quran does not say, do not merely refrain from adultery. It states, do not ever get close to it. This means not having friends of the opposite gender, also we are to refrain from friends of the same gender that would entice you towards adultery, as well as anything that takes you towards any type of corruption. All things that take you to evil are forbidden in Islam. Islam wants us to have a healthy lifestyle. Having a carefree lifestyle, inclusive of girlfriend/boyfriend makes us prone to an illicit lifestyle, prone to affairs, diseases, disrespect of ourselves and future spouses, and contributes to living a life of disrespect.

Living a chaste life brings value to self. For students, a chaste life helps to focus on studies, helps one get ahead with things that are necessary ourselves. Boyfriends/girlfriends distract us from successful worldly and religious activities.

The Quran prohibits it, and as faithful Muslims, we should take our religion seriously enough to listen to the advice it commands upon us. Continue reading