Q: As Salam Alaikum Imam Sahab,
May Allah Bless you for how you find time to read our questions and provide replies. May he reward you in both worlds.
My question is about duties of husband. I live in Texas, US got remarried 3.5yrs ago and have two children from my previous marraige. I was a working woman, US national and got married so we can have a family together. This person promissed me he will fulfill his duties and support me morally and financially; he also wanted to have family with us as well. By finding him sincere I got married, he moved into my house I filled for his greencard and paid all bills no matter if I borrowed from my parents or sold my belongings for last 3.5yrs. He didn’t ask how I was running the household and didn’t take any interest sharing responsibilities of any type. When I lost my job and asked financial help he moved out and now we are living seperately. With all this said, my question is what Allah says about husband like him? What should I do next? He says I am taking care of my own responsibilities and keeps himself apart from everything. I don’t want to go through another divorce and am lost and
too deperessed, please advise in the light of Islam what I did so wrong? What should be my next move about him?
Time: Sunday July 24, 2011 at 4:02 pm
A: وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
Kindly view my recommendations as a way to improve your situation. My tone may be harsh, however my sister, i do want the best for you.
Your options are as follows:
- You can sue him for failed promises and actions. To be successful in your claim, you must furnish proof. Likewise, a man must fulfill certain rights, violating those rights awards you fair compensation.
Side note: If you find it worthwhile to be with a man like this, then remain married to him. I personally only see more abuse coming your way. When a person fails to see the humaneness of another human, there is not much one can do about such a person, except pray for their well-being. To me, your life is too precious to accept such continual abuse. His abuse keeps you negative and away from the remembrance of Allah (SWT). This is just not worth your time and energy. This is not what you have been created for!
- You need to go to an ‘in house’ scholar with your husband and resolve this matter soon as possible. It is better that one sometimes ends an abusive marriage then go on and have it ended later.
- If he changes, then stay with him.
- More critically, you need to take greater pride in how you choose a marital partner.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.
P.s. Please folks, do not tell me i am advocating divorce and assisting in being a home-wrecker. Our religion does allow for it when things get unbearable! So choose wisely. On green card matter, press here.