Q: Assalamu Alaikum,
I just want to clear a doubt hich we got into when we were dicussing abt marriage. Can we ask the bride or should the groom ask the bride how much she would require as Mehr (through parents).
If the bride is not happy with what she got as mehr what would be the outcome.
Time: Sunday May 29, 2011 at 11:04 am
A: وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
The parents of both parties can consult with the bride and groom and make the decision through mutual consultation to ensure that the bride and groom attain the best representation. This amount would be mentioned at the time of nikah with the appropriate witnesses. This would also eliminate ambiguity and future conflict as it relates to the amount of mehr.
Once the amount has been agreed upon by her and her representatives, there would not be a need for anyone to be unhappy. Not being happy would not be mere grounds to re-set that amount. If the woman was misrepresented and there is proof of such misrepresentation, then the matter as it relates to mehr can be re-fixed or adjusted. Such a situation may allow for the one at fault to be sued to balance out the financial wrong if necessary.
Sometimes a woman claims a given past amount as wrongful many years after the nikah. For example, 55 years ago, $100 would have been viewed as a great amount to give as part of mehr, a woman lamenting in 2012 that she was not given her fair share 55 years later would not be fair. (likewise, would not be fair for a man to expect his wife to look as she looked 55 years ago either.)
If a woman did not have control over its amount and foul play was suspected, she can dispute the amount with furnishing adequate proof as tot he given amount.
Best mehr to give is Mehr Fatimi, the amount that was awarded to sayyidutuna Fatimah (RA).
Allah certainly Knows Best.
(I would prefer this question to come from the bride with her side of the story. Few make such demands without a reason!)