did i lose my right to demand?

Q: I have a question regarding a serious matter. I am brought by my aunt. I stay with her. My parents have given me to her as she does not have kids of her own. I received a proposal from a cousin of mine who is a very nice person by all means- religious, prays, fasts, good conduct and well educated. My guardians- my aunt and uncle who brought me up, have agreed to him. But my real parents make issues and our denying the proposal with no solid reason! their only reason is I should be marrying someone they choose for me.
Inspite of the fact that my cousin is well known for his manners in the entire family yet they are objecting to it. Now that I am about to marry him they have threatened me of the fact that my nikah would be “batil” as they are not agreeing to it.
Kindly help me out in this regard. I do not want to be a sinner nor do I want to lose my cousin.
Time: Thursday April 7, 2011 at 6:35 am

Answers: You are wanting to do the right thing. I suggest the correct thing must be done in the correct manner as well. May Allah (SWT) reward your parents and your guardians for all the good they have done for you.

  • Based on your situation, you can accept the advice of your uncle and aunt as it relates to your future spouse. They have raised you and shared with you a good set of values. To not listen to them would also be a poor thing to do.
  • Islam emphasizes the rights parents have over their children. Sadly, for whatever reason, seemingly your parents gave up this right voluntarily. This should not be used against them, however, your matter should be better negotiated (if possible) with them. After all, they are your parents.
  • If there does not exist foul  play or manipulation on your part or the part of your guardians, then in such  a situation your nikah would not be batil.
  • Islam doe snot allow for parents to force children in marrying parental choices. Parents are to give advice and not demand a spousal wish. I do agree, parents must be given supreme consideration in all maters that relate to you and your positive future.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

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