guest alone does not justify walking out

Q: السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Hope you and your family are doing well by the grace and mercy of Allah, Imaam.

My family is going to host another family at our house for the next few days and there are some girls included as well. My question is, as a single man, is it permissible for me to stay in my own house despite having strange women living in the same household? They are just a few years younger than me and are friends of my sisters. I am insisting upon leaving for a few days and live elsewhere while they are here but my family is accusing me of “over-reacting” because my parents and the parents of the girls will be here the whole time. However, as the days creep closer (this Thursday until Monday) of the family’s stay, I cannot but help to keep on thinking of the Qur’anic ayah of close meaning, to not even come close to Zina.
If you can answer before this Thursday that would be most appreciated. I just want to do the best thing according to Qur’an and Hadith but also not ostracize my family as being too “strict with religion”.

Jazakullah Khayr,

Time: Tuesday January 11, 2011 at 8:21 pm

A: وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
Wishing you and your family the very best as well, Ameen.

  • Families coming over to visit and at the same time having strange woman in the home in separate quarters with their parents is not a religious offense. The offense would be for you to take away the privacy of these women by introducing extended as well as inappropriate communication.
  • ‘Birds of feather flock together’ is a notion that brings to the forefront that sometimes these gatherings help our youth find appropriate lifelong partners. Should an attraction take place, it remains better to seek out persons that are closely linked to the family than random strangers for a blissful future. This matter however should be approached within the parameters of modesty and acknowledgment of families as well as it should remain under the banner of religious correctness.
  • Leaving the home is not a solution, the solution is to live as normal as possible in the face of possible temptation without seeking to pollute oneself. To place oneself in ‘harm’s way’ voluntarily is never recommended. Such is not seemingly your case.
  • Merely having parents in the home is not a valid reason for interaction nor does it ever ensure safety from wrong. Pathways away from wrong can only be assured with interacting in a manner that is sanctioned by ones stronger religious ethics as directed by the parameters of religion. Even under such circumstances, it is only Allah (SWT) and His Mercy that protects us from haraam (as understood from the case of Yusuf AS)
  • As for the ayah in reference, it is referring ensuring that we do not place ourselves in situations of temptation that would eventually lead to the act of adultery. Being in a house on its own does not promote zina. By contrast, should temptation of evil be the case, you are welcome to leave the residence as a rational mature adult.

We appreciate you wanting to do the right thing, you are truly blessed, Ameen.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.


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