Q: Assalam alaikum, I have been searhing for guidance concerning my marriage of 3o yrs. I have been accepting and handling my husbands illness this long. Recently I had to have open heart surgery on both of my legs. During my recovery my husband had one of very out of control moments. At that time I was to weak to understand nor comprehend why he inflicted his anger at me. He has had a mental illness since one year after marriage. After six years we moved to Alaska and found Islam. Alhumdulilah. However; we were unable to keep the teaching and guidance for failure of the masjid. There was no one to continue to teach us. During my surgical recovery I was restablished to my faith and my beliefs. I’m a converted muslim women since 1993. During Ramadan of 2010 I was totally devoted and have been ever since. Here is my dilemma. When my husband lost his self control during my recovery, I asked an Polie Officer to have him leave until he could regain his composure. I wouldn’t let him return home. I want to recover. I also did not speak to him from July 20,2010 til now. He has apologised profusely and realised how wrong he was. He went back to Alaska where he lives with our daughter. All of our children live in Alaska. I truly do love the man I believe that he could be. I told him that I have become completely my Faith and I will not deter from it for him or anyone else. He believes and prays IN the One and Only Allah; however I believe I have become more devoted. I’m praying insha Allah that going back to him and bring the gifts and guidance I have received in these past few months will be of Allahs Guidance. I live far from anyone to get the answers I’m searching for. In Michigan up north there are no muslims the closest masjid is 3 hours one way. Please I want this to work, but I truly need guidance. Most of what I’ve receveived has been on internet. I pray give me sound advice from Qur’an And Prophet Muhammad (bpuh). On the ay after my surgery at home I believe
Allah came to me and made me choose now or never. My whole being weeped in pain. I’ve not strayed nor do I ever want to be withut Allah. Walaikum salam
Time: Friday October 29, 2010 at 1:05 pm
A: وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
- Your situation makes us appreciate life ever more then before.
- The manner in which you seem to have handled the problem is justified. It relates to your past, move on and find creative ways to remedy the situation without making things worse for you or him.
- Seek appropriate help from religious as was as qualified professionals.
- You have come a long way. You seem to have calmed down from from your initial havoc (start point.) Seek the advice of professionals that would make it safe for you to be together. Once approved and safe, put the past behind you. You really seem to want to let go of negatives, do not let anything hinder your progress.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.