‘My daughter is marrying a non-muslim’

Q: Assalaamu Alaikum
I need help urgently, My daughter is marrying a non-muslim, and he want to embrace islam, but his parents are against muslims, he told them that he is getting married, but they dont want him to become a muslim, can he get married without them knowing that he turned muslim.

Time: Thursday October 14, 2010 at 6:17 am

A: وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

  • A nikah between a Muslim female and non-Muslim male does not count as a nikah at all. They would be part of an adulterous relationship due to the lack of the males conversion.
  • A mature male should be able to make up his own mind regarding the choice of religion. USA laws allow for a mature person to convert without parental consent. He may convert and marry her. See local laws that relate to conversion and marital age of consent.
  • Marriages out of ones cultural domain has many constrains that must be overcome. Sensitivity in this regard is critical for relational success.

It is our preference that both parties go for joint counseling with appropriate chaperons present for better understanding of each other/families.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.


2 responses to “‘My daughter is marrying a non-muslim’

  1. worried mother

    As-salaam-alaikum sister, I feel your pain, having kids myself in this country. It is important that your daughter be a practicing Muslim because it will be a priority for her to have her household and children brought up Muslim and thereby the husband will be getting support from you and your family. I don’t think it is important for him to have to tell his family that he is converting as long as he does not practice his families religion when he is around them and is truly coming to Islam for the faith and not just to marry your daughter. It is not good to encourage your daughter and her boyfriend to make Islam a hypocrisy and merely convert for the sake of marriage and not practice Islam. I do suggest that they both come to some of the classes that Imam has at the University and have him speak of his intentions directly to the Imam about conversion. HE must be true to Allah (swt) and she must provide the support and he must realize that he would be giving up his family if they do not approve. He can let his family know slowly later in the marriage BUT, please be sure that his intent to convert is sincere. A mixed marriage has its struggles already but, then to base it on a lie would not be good. Only if his intent and her to help him in Islam are sincere should you support this marriage otherwise, as a mother, I have told my children that I cannot be a part of a non-Islamic couple in my family. They have known that Islam is a big part in our lives and not to expect be to deny it if they choose differently. Be sure to help him with the teachings of Islam and discuss the difference between his given faith and ours, that always helps. May Allah (swt) give you strength and have our children continue the true path of Islam. Ameen.

  2. What happens if the non-muslim converts and they marry after doing all the right things. But then after a year they both convert to another faith, what does this do to the marriage ?