marriage is serious stuff, not some lab work

Q: Salam,

Converted sister here!  How long should one wait in order to start thinking about marriage as a Muslim?  I have been Muslim for three years and no one really peeks my interest.  Is there something wrong with me?

Time: Tuesday August 10, 2010 at 3:12 pm

A: وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

Congratulations on making a choice that you are proud of.

Marriage is no small matter. Once maturity is gained, as soon as one feels they can fulfill the obligations of marriage coupled with the desires that are coupled with marriage, one should embark upon its journey. More important, learn and know all the skills that would make you a good husband/wife. Marriage is not a living experiments. Marital experiments usually are laboratory disasters. Know what you want out of the spiritual and nonspiritual domain. Never be desperate, nor play hard to get when a good catch comes by.

No one peeking your interest could be as a result of you looking in the wrong places or having unrealistic expectations. Know fully what you want out your marriage and life in general. Lack of such insight is a pathway for disaster. Confusion only compounds itself.

Each person knows what is right and wrong with them. You can best answer your final question.

In all sincerity, we understand the dilemma you are undergoing.  Seek the assistance of people that have your best interest in mind. Never act in haste, the tears would be for life. May our Creator protect us all.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

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