Q: Salaam Walikum Imaam,
I had this friend who converted to Islam several years back, and all of her Life she has practiced psychic and spiritual things. It started to make me feel uncomfortable with the psychic stuff, mostly, because she still believes she is Muslim, and still does her psychic practices.
I know it is shirk and haram to practice another belief with Islam. So, one day I told her that in a way that she is not considered muslim, because she does not practice islam (not praying, and practicing other beliefs, etc.), and her beliefs are contradictory with islam. Then, she did not like this. I was not direct in telling her, but you know, I hinted it.
Later on, I thought my approach on how I told her was wrong, and I thought I was doing the right thing by telling her that. But, I know in islam you should not insult someone on whatever their beliefs are, that you should respect them and their beliefs (correct me if I am wrong), I started to feel alittle guilty. Did I make the proper choice in telling her that, or should I have seek out a wiser method in telling her?
She is not a bad person. She is good, just seemed she carried contradictory beliefs and practices.
Did I do right in terms of Islam? Could you tell me anything about her choices, etc.? What would have been a proper approach?
Time: Sunday July 18, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Answers: وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
We must first congratulate her for converting. We must exercise patience with new Muslims and reforming Muslims. We must give them good advice whilst exercising the necessary caution to safeguard our Imaam. Help her in a wise manner, or you shall hinder both of you.
To call or imply a person is a kafir is a sin. To do magic or delve in psychic (as linked to magic) is a major sin (kabaair) and can lead to kufr. Without a person claiming to do magic and your claiming that they are kaffir was a sin you have already realized. Depending on the severity of magic, one can be very close to the brinks of kufr. Since these are matters that cannot be 100% proven by the accuser.
Not praying diminishes the values of ones faith. Work with her if you feel your faith would not be adversely affected.
Changing your approach was a positive gesture.
As we said in another response to someone else:
يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَكُونُواْ مَعَ ٱلصَّـٰدِقِينَ
Oh you who believe, fear Allah and be those that are truthful.
- As Muslims we are called to give the benefit of doubt to all, until proven otherwise. However, we are always called upon to use our best judgment and never let our judgment become impaired by the hatred of action of others. We must be proactive, not reactive.
- When proof does exists pertaining a matter, there are two things one must weight: Does the delinquents trait remain harmful the community (the masses), or are the adversities limited to perpetrator of the crime or an isolated few that wish to interact with such a person (as a result of their personal greed, gullibility, misjudgment, etc.)
Don’t become a sinner by talking about those (possibly) forgiven
Should you share negative information pertaining to others whilst in reality conveying such information need not be shared, or the violator has asked Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) for forgiveness, then in such an instance, you would be sinful in passing such information on. You could possibly turn from victim to oppressor. It would be best for you to warn people as to the evil traits of humanity then specify a particular persons faults. (As usually does the imaam of this site, if only people read between the lines of given responses!)
It’s (or is it) just a vibe
A vibe is not sufficient enough to walk away from a person. However, if a ‘vibe’ is defined as insight from Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala), then this insight cannot be viewed as proof, but a gift from Allah to implement caution regarding the given person. Do not break away unless the relationship itself is viewed as haram, or calls for haram practices.
99.99999% too is not enough
The fact that your information is only 99.9% and not 100% whilst being in the category of ‘vibe mode’ shows a possible lack of adequate witnesses to all transactions that took place. To protect each party, Islam would not view 99.9% as sufficient proof to disclose anything about another. Proof constitutes credible eyewitnesses, understanding motive, maturity, sanity, marital status for a full punishment of what is known as the Hadd, confessions made by the perpetrator of wrong, etc. A mere letter, text message, email, etc. would taint a person’s image; however, it still remains under debate as to the accuracy of such data collected by parties. Also, if the matter is between cross gender- non-mahram, due to the relationship being in question, the data too would be viewed as unimpressive. Our best advice thus would be as follows:
Situation 1: if the person creating problems is female and so are you, then its best you keep silent if you feel that matters would get out of control. Instead, be polite, give advice to the individual, and continue making duaa that Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) gives the person true guidance.
The best for last:
‘When in doubt, abstain.’ (Hadith) Don’t make a scene and expose people, lest should the same occur to you or the ones you love most. What goes around comes around. Instead make duaa for him/her and the Umaah. Conceal the wrongs of others on private matters, and Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) would conceal your matters — be they matters of privacy or within the public domain, insha-Allah. Ameen. (Hadith paraphrased) Never stoop to the level of those you may despise!
May Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) help us rectify our deeds, Ameen.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.