‘Is maher forgiven’

Q: Brother Imaam,

May Allah protect you and keep you in his peace.

I have a question, I have been married to my husband since 6 years. and I have two wonderful kids. Thanks to Allah. it was my love marriage. before getting married i was helping my parents in financial way. but when i was about to get married i was told by my husband that i am not supposed to help my parents as you will not be working and my husband doesn’t like money relations. i agreed on his points.
but after few years i started to work in a good airline, but my salary used to be in husbands hand. my maher was 7000 dhirham, my husband paid my loan , on which he said now you dont have any maher on me as i have paid your loan.

Brother Imaam , my question , Is  maher is forgiven to my husband as he paid my loan. secondly, now again i am not working, but my husband is not giving me a single dollar to spend . if by chance i need money then i have to go through such a long questions. is Islam allow a man to do such things ? where do i stand as i dont ask him any more ? Im sure all your questions are from Islamic point of view.

I pray that Allah give you a good health and reward you for all your single efforts which you are doing for sake of Allah and Islam.

Ameen

salam

Time: Saturday June 26, 2010 at 11:21 pm
salam Imaam ,

it has been many weeks that I am waiting for my answer. I do  understand that you have so many questions to answer. I am sorry if you have felt bad. I am just waiting for your answer. if you want me to repeat, I will do that.

May Allah Regard you !

salam

Time: Monday July 19, 2010 at 11:24 pm

A: وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

You are most gracious with your words. May Allah bless you and your family as well, Ameen.

Assistance to your parents is greatly rewarding, may Allah (SWT) reward for this noble deed. For a husband to insist that you cut of assistance towards your parents would be wrong if you do not have other siblings or family that can fulfill this task.

Your husband paying off your loan remains greatly rewarding. This in itself does not absolve him of the mehr. If it was agreed that him paying of your loan functioned as part or full payment of the mehr, then he would be absolved of the specified amount that is related to the mehr. Had he not mentioned that he was paying the loan in exchange of the mehr, then he would still be liable for the mehr.

If you need money for necessitates, ex:  reasonable clothing, food, etc. it would remain his obligation to assist you while he is blessed with resources. He has the right to ask you what you need the $100 for, or he can chose to purchase the sort-after item on your behalf. If he is ignorant regarding the technicalities  as to the item you most need purchased, then he can go and buy it with you. Example: blender, female hygiene products, cooking things that you are most familiar with which affect your productivity, etc. As a precaution, men must be sensitive to female needs. Certain things they need to buy themselves. This must be allowed for as part of the budgeting.

You have other issues that need to be resolved. Your issues are beyond the scope of this email. Wishing you the best.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

p.s. I do thank you for the reminder. I do thank you for understanding. We do not take offense. Likewise, others too can resend their queries that have gone by unanswered. Merely place in the header: repeat, answer now!

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