i am all dolled-up for strangers too see

Q: What is y our opinion of a bride to sit on stage and show her face for men and woman to see? The father walks her in? She is to look attractive for all the guests. This is our new custom. Never was seen back home in my country.  My sister is to get married inshaAllah in about four months so Imaam you can take your time. Your comments would be appreciated….. (Email Time: Sunday June 20, 2010 at 11:35 am)

A: It is the height of immodesty for a guardian/parent to place their child before the world to view as an object rather then human. “Staging’  is insensitive to religion and to one that is being protected. Children are not pieces of flesh or raw meat ready for public display, they must be treated with respect and parents must fulfill their trust (amanah) towards  children in an honorable manner.

It is also an insult to a man that he would seek to marry a woman that has been viewed by strange men. Men getting married should ensure that the person they are to marry comes from a famiythat have self-respect and basic religiously dispositions.

The religious violations would be derived from Hadith that address aspects of Dress, Hijab, Modesty, (not turning religion into) play, etc.

A wedding build on the sunnah would give a greater and more virtuous outcome.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

A personal case Miami: Boy sends text to bride. She does not have her cell phone with her. The phone is left in the hotel room. The bride and groom enter their personal hotel room three hours after the nikah to better acquaint themselves. The message from a former ‘boy’ that refused to propose to her sent the following message: ‘you look (xxx) tonight. Had I known you looked so (xxx) {attractive} I would have asked to marry you.’  The newly wedded male got so upset when he read this on her phone that the marriage almost resulted in an immediate breakup. The same night her father as part of the ‘reconciliation’ to save his child’s marriage took her phone away. The wound on both sides still remains. Her past is now brought up repeatedly. Turn your child into an object or into a figure of public display; s/he would be treated as such. You only harvest what you sow.

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