‘I have Been talking to a guy’

Q1: Assalaamu alaikum
I am talking to a guy who I am nterested in marrying and my parents know about him and why I am talking to him. Would this be considered inter-mingling?

Time: Wednesday May 26, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Q2: Sheikh I have Been talking to a guy for the past few months my parents are aware of it and 100% for me getting to know this guy. I have doubts of it being okay in Islam because my Iman us weak as it is and I sure do not need any fitna in my life. Please tell me if I am doing something wrong
Jaza kallah khair sheikh

Time: Thursday May 27, 2010 at 1:11 pm

A: وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

If you want the joy (halawa) of marriage and want to appreciate your spouse, limit premarital interaction and keep the institution of marriage as sacred as possible. Every person I ever talked to generally stated the following: if only I did not interact before marriage, i would have enjoyed my marriage so much more. I would have trusted him/her so much more, etc. If s/he can talk whilst in their parents home to a strange fe/male, what prevents them from doing so after marriage?! Shaytan beautifies a wrong then runs away once the flame of evil has been ignited (as derived from ayah.)

If you must talk to your intended spouse, do it in the traditional manner so as to continue creating gradual spiritual harmony. Talk to him/er in front of a parent/chaperon. Talking to the extent of necessity would be permissible. What is to happen would happen. Don’t let your desires ride you. For parents to allow their child to talk to a man in the manner you have described above is plain wrong. Marrying into a family that allows their daughters to be care-free can ruin future generation. Men must realize, the woman you marry would affect your imaan, your future and her ways would filter through into your family. (As derived from Hadith.) Your parents would be partially liable for such misbehaviors. You being mature enough to get married should certainly realize this as well.

(Do things in a manner that does not place a taint upon anyones name.)

Allah Certainly Knows Best.


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