mehr: Quran and Hadith

Questions:
Salaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakhatu,
ya’Imam,
1) The Quranul’karim subhanallah clearly points out that mahr must be given to the girl as a gift. 2) But no verse clearly indicates how much I should ask for. 3) Is there any hadiths that say what the most virtuous mahr is?
4) My parents keep on saying to ask for a ridiculous amount of money, but I refuse, it is not fair for him to pay that much!
5) what is the mahr that has the most amount of barakha in it?

Imam may Allah bestow his bounty and mercy upon you and your loved ones, ameen.

Time: Sunday February 21, 2010 at 6:20 pm

Answer: وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

Ameen to your duas. May Allah bless you and your loved ones as well, Ameen.

There are multiple components that are not mentioned in your query. For example, your current family financial statues, the financial predisposition of your intended spouse, the mehr of other members of your family and peers, religious components of compatibility, etc. Marital rules derived function as guidelines from hadiths to protect the interests of woman and the institution of family.

Your answer to questions 1 through 5 are as follows:

1) True

2) True. (The amount can depend upon our comment made above.)

3) Quran does not stipulate everything. For example, the Quran does not show us the exact motions of whudhu (ablution), the exact manner on how a woman must marry another man upon her being divorced from the first husband as part of Halala, etc.

Thus, as Muslims, we are to use Quran and hadith simultaneously to attain perfection of faith when a contradiction does not exist between the both. Although the Quran does not stipulate a fixed amount. The minimum amount derived from hadith remains 10 dirhams. The minimum amount is not fard due to the Quran not stipulating a fixed amount. Thus, this amount would be part of sunnah (wojoob) as interpreted by masters (fuqaha) of religion.

4 and 5) The best nikah is that nikah which does not place a burden or hardship on any party. If Allah has blessed woman to receive the amount that was stipulated for the daughter of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam), then this amount would be part of a marital foundation built on sunnah. This mehr is called Mehr Fatimi. Rasulullah loved Sayidinah Fatimah (RA) greatly, just as every father should love his daughter. If He (Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) chose this amount, having this part of our nikah would function as blessed sunnah and blessed foundation to the institution of marriage.

If your parents like your intended spouse, without telling him or them, you can accept the higher stipulated amount of mehr. Upon marriage you are welcome to give it back to him as a gift from your side. (Is there a woman that would do this? Added to the mix, what type of real man would take a gift back once it has been given to his life long partner?!)

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

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3 responses to “mehr: Quran and Hadith

  1. Salam.

    Does the mahar only count as money form. Or can something else be given such as land, jewlery etc.

    • Land, jewelry, diamonds, pearls, potatoes, sheep, cows, classic Model T ford, red ruby, etc (if it is agreed upon in the right value) would all work as mehr. Its total value must be equivalent to the minimum stipulated amount.
      Main thing is that the item is halal.

  2. worried mother

    As-salaam-alaikum. Undoubtedly you are already married by the time I have made this comment but, for others reading. I have seen that young girls ask as their mehar to go to Hajj. I think this is most virtuous and a wonderful way to start a marriage. However, having said this, how does one collect this before consummating the marriage because mehar is to be given the night of the wedding to the bride. It is too bad that parents ask for a ridiculous amount. I went to a Arab wedding in which the amount was ridiculous and declared at the time of the nikah and the non-Muslims commented that it was how we buy our wives. I did not hear the comment directly otherwise, I would have commented about what mehar is for, a security for the bride if anything happens in the marriage it is hers to keep. Nonetheless, it does not have to be declared outright the amount and by the way this groom could not afford any of it and it had to be forgiven by the bride and was all a show which the bride’s parents were not too pleased about (we are very close childhood friends of the bride’s family). So, parents or the bride should not ask a large mehar so as not to give the impression that mehar is actually a value of what their daughter is worth for no money can replace a daughter. And the bride should not forgive the amount, it should be righfully hers. I was told it is written that 3 months of salary of the groom is reasonable and sufficient for the need of the bride. In American culture, they say the groom should spend 6 months salary on a wedding ring, interesting eh? In my family the mehar was always $101 but, now that I see the purpose of the mehar I think it should have been according to the economic times for security for myself so, the 3 months income seems just and fair.
    Jazakullah-khair