marry who i tell you, or else

Q:

Salamu Alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakhtu Imam,

Inshallah you’re well. So remember the question I sent to you in regards to my friend who’s Brother tells her she can not marry any one outside their family tribe.
Well he recently made her put her hand in the qu’ran and swear by Allah that she would not marry someone outside her tribe.
Does that oath go through?
Is that valid of him to do?
jazakallahu khair

A:

وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

We do not know the justification of your brother to make you take such an oath. Should he base his decision on racism, prejudiced attitude, or other sharia based violations, then understand the following: You touched the Quran. This is no small matter. The Quran is not a joke book. You cannot take an oath upon it in vain or in a situation that does not endanger your life. You do understand this fact, thus your concern has caused you to inquire regarding the status of your given otah. It also seems that you are inclined to this person whom you took an oath not to marry or else taking the oath would not have been a concern to you.

You and members of your family need a good Islamic social worker or group of elders that have each of your interest in mind to help resolve your matter.

We also recommend that until the matter is not resolved; minimize your contact with this male. It is not fair to him that you string him along with your unresolved personal family matters. This lowers your self-worth and value and basic human dignity. As humans we got to achieve so much more better for ourselves.

Your answer to taking an oath, etc remains in the following link(s)

https://islaminaction.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/the-oath-you-take-is-not-the-same-oats-you-eat-june-2nd

https://islaminaction.wordpress.com/2009/10/20/for-adults-only-get-out-of-your-cultural-rut-and-live-your-life-not-the-life-of-others

https://islaminaction.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/marriage-without-parental-consent

Best wishers in making decisions that make you and those around you proud of you, Ameen.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

May you also be in the best of health. Kindly refrain from sending us third party queries. We would assume that the matter pertains to you, so as to avoid the debate of he said, she said, i did not mean it as such, but as such instead!.

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