‘cheating husband’

Q: Is it permissible in islam to take back my cheating husband. Is my nikah still valid? He cheated on me with my sister. My parents left us home and went to (xxxx) vacation. My husband came home early when i was at work  (xxxx details irrelevant and would not change content of response.) (text)

 A: Taking back your cheating husband would not invalidate your marriage.

Recommended is that you await a menstrual cycle prior to doing anything intimate with him. (Read this as well.)

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

P.s. In times of ‘strange’ disease, if you both do not suffer a common communicable disease, you should be cautious in the do’s and don’ts as it relates to such a man.

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2 responses to “‘cheating husband’

  1. As-salaam-alaikum sister, I am so sorry to hear about your husband cheating on you with your sister. I think you should think more highly of yourself and not take a man like this back. Once a cheater, always a cheater and well, to do it with your sister shows he has absolutely no shame and in your home shows he wasn’t trying to hide it and didn’t care if you found out. But, aside from all of this, Allah (swt) has given women rights and Islam is the only religion that gives us so many rights, I would think long and hard about your relationship before taking him back and if you have kids then consider this, what will they think of you accepting this and him thinking it is okay to do so (son or daughter) either way, it will not be a good example for them to follow but, you must see what you can bear, loneliness and financial independence or an imperfect marriage but, a sort of home for your kids. You can be strong and be without this man with help from family, friends and the community, Insha-Allah.

  2. AS Salaamu Alaikum,
    First of all, I pray for all those who have been hurt in such a way and may Allah grant us the strength to see ourselves through such trials. Sister, only you know your reasons for taking him back. I can tell you that it will be hard to build up that trust again. My suggestion is to try counseling. My experience is from other people and I will share that, the hardest hurdle to overcome is that nagging thought that he might do it again, wondering where he is, etc. And on his part the guilt and the anger over you not trusting even though he knows you have a reason; that is why I suggest a counselor/Imam to overcome those issues. If you are both committed to working it out, then I say give it your all. Once can be called a mistake but twice is a choice. Forgiving a cheater is like saying it’s OK for them to cheat. I agree with the comment above, “Once a cheater always a cheater”; once they cross that line, it becomes a trust factor; if I don’t trust you I can’t maintain a healthy loving relationship with you. Sister, your trust and love have been violated by the actions of someone who is supposed to be your life partner, but only you two know the full circumstances and events. It will always be your decision. I think people should have a zero tolerance policy on cheating. There is never an excuse for cheating. It is so, once a cheat, always a cheat. If he is forgiven, he will become complacent and think he got away with such an evil crime. Thus would be likely to do it again. If these acts are forgiven so readily, then this would become a trivial matter as it now is in Western society. But at the end of the day, it is your decision whether he is worth it or not.